Therapy For Men
Having Trouble Understanding Your Experiences And Identifying Your Emotions?
As men, we are often socialized to believe that our power lies in anger and that emotions signal weakness. Heartfelt communication is often missing from our early experience. As a result, we may be drawn to be strong, stoic, and macho—taught to handle things “like a man.”
Yet we can be visited by depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and relational struggles—all potential costs to constraining ourselves to a narrow view of ‘manhood.’ No matter how you identify and regardless of race, orientation, and background, you deserve to feel seen and heard in your challenges.
You may find yourself wishing you were more in touch with your emotions or better able to experience your feelings in a meaningful, authentic way. Is it possible to be both a ‘good guy’ and listen to what your anger has to say? Can you find balance as an employee, entrepreneur, or athlete while giving yourself space to rest and reauthor the narratives you have dutifully subscribed to? Can you be a tender, connected, loving partner and parent while making space for your authentic and aspirational individual desires?
As a therapist, I am not too interested in pathologizing symptoms or trying to characterize your obstacles as what all men experience. Rather, I want to co-explore with you the unique values, perspectives, and goals that will enrich and open your life to new, more expansive possibilities. Therapy for men at People Not Problems facilitates exploration as you consider the pros and cons of loosening gendered expectations in favor of a more authentic way of being.
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It is common for men of all backgrounds to struggle with accessing the core emotions below our go-to feelings—like anger. Those of us who are socialized as men are given very few tools for emotional exploration and expression, often causing us to respond with anger or frustration when faced with vulnerable connection.
And why wouldn’t we feel this way? From a young age, so many of us were told to “rub some dirt” in our wounds or not to “cry like a girl.” Surrounded by images of what society defines as masculine, we develop insecurities around our body image, sexuality, and emotions.
Through this binary conditioning—masculine versus feminine—we develop the belief that there isn’t space for nuance. For instance, how is it possible to be a ‘guy’s guy’ with an appreciation for sports and other ‘macho’ activities while simultaneously being a tender, open partner to our significant other(s)? Even within our most intimate relationships themselves, we can be given mixed signals, telling us to be strong and capable and also sensitive.
Therapy is a chance to examine and reauthor the thin and constraining parts of your story. Together in counseling, we will challenge the narratives surrounding what “real” men look like, making space for empowerment as your whole self—and not society’s expectation of you.
Therapy For Men At People Not Problems
You may not have been given permission or many opportunities throughout your life to pause, relax, and explore your experiences. Whether you’re feeling held back by others’ concept of how you ‘should’ be or hoping to challenge a story you’ve told yourself, therapy for men is a valuable chance to redefine your relationship with yourself and others.
Though my approach tends to integrate multiple people in the session—monogamous couples, non-monogamous partnerships, and families—online and in-person therapy is available for individual men. Due to my background in business, I’m a good therapeutic fit for entrepreneurs, executives, and other career-motivated folx. And because I am a kink-, poly-, and culturally affirming clinician, I welcome men of all backgrounds to join me in counseling.
My Approach
As a systems-oriented therapist, I believe that authentic connection through relationships is a key to joy. By co-exploring what it means to be both tender and tough, you can develop stronger connections to others in your life. From the conversations that we experience in the counseling space, you may discover new possibilities that aren’t restricted by what “acceptable” men do. Instead, your unique strengths and attributes can be brought forward.
When working with men as a therapist, recalling more constrained stories works to delve below the anger that is often our go-to strategy. As such, our counseling sessions may include finding connections between what we think, how we feel, and what we experience as men. Narrative therapy aims to separate the person from ‘the problem,’ focusing on the stories that develop when we are un-linked from society’s expectations of how to live, love, and thrive.
Understanding the relationship between the stories we have been told and the ones we want to amplify, we may naturally attune our response to vulnerability in a more thoughtful, loving way. Rather than stuffing down our emotions and relying solely on an intellectual narrative, therapy gives men space to weigh the pros and cons of tenderness, vulnerability, and authenticity.
Many of my clients are men who had their core emotions shamed out of them, but therapy and co-exploring has enriched their stories towards more tender connection with themselves and others. By accessing this range of emotional awareness, they learned to connect with themselves and others on a deeper level. Counseling has empowered some men I work with to live fuller, more authentic lives—and it can help you, too.
You May Have Concerns About Going To Therapy…
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While we as a society are slowly chipping away at stigma around mental health, misconceptions about therapy still exist—especially among men who are historically conditioned to feel averse to emotions. The truth is that most of us wrestle with stress, mental health obstacles, or the feeling that we’re living out of alignment with our core values.
As a male-identifying therapist, I understand the unique narratives we are given as men. Our time in counseling will be spent co-exploring those narratives that no longer serve us and overcoming their limitations so that you can become at peace with the congruence between your thoughts, emotions, and experiences.
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Counseling is an investment in yourself. In therapy, you are not just reaping the benefits of what you realize during our sessions together—you get to bring your perspectives with you into other areas of your life. This may help you to be a more connected partner or friend, a more present father, and a more authentic, less restricted embodiment of yourself. From that perspective, you might agree that counseling is invaluable.
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If you are concerned about the time commitment of therapy, keep in mind that virtual appointments are often available. These HIPAA-protected sessions can be conducted from wherever in Colorado you can access the Internet. Hopefully, this helps you feel more comfortable in the counseling space and reduces the overall time spent commuting.
Write Your Own Story
As men, we are socialized with many narratives about what is acceptable, but narrative therapy is a chance to reauthor—and embrace—your unique story. To schedule a free 30-minute consultation and find out more, please contact me. Note that I am currently taking new clients and appointments are typically available within one week.