Polyamory Friendly Therapy
Looking To Expand Your Sex Life And Relationship?
Are you and your partner(s) curious about swinging, polyamory, consensual nonmonogamy (CNM), or other fantasies?
Do you want to explore your desires and boundaries with a systemically trained, sex-positive clinician who specializes in working with couples?
Yet have you had trouble finding a kink or poly friendly therapist in the past?
No matter which phase you’re in of introducing other people into your sex life—whether you are new to the concept of CNM or considering making the switch from swinging to polyamory—you may feel like this experience is being dictated by the rules. Though you might think that having strict expectations in place is the way to protect one another, the rules may be causing more pain than good and keeping you from finding full satisfaction in nonmonogamy.
Yet, how do you navigate this phase of your relationship(s) without those barriers? In polyamory friendly couples therapy, you and your partner(s) can develop meaningful insights, awareness, and communication skills to help you have a successful non-monogamous relationship. Together, we can figure out what each partner needs to feel comfortable, satisfied, and secure.
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Is Kink Or Poly Friendly Counseling Right For Us?
Poly and kink affirming therapy is available to couples of any gender, orientation, and experience level. You may have swung with other sexual partners in the past, but perhaps you’re interested in going deeper with another person outside of your primary relationship. Or maybe you and your partner have discussed the idea of a “hall pass” for a one-time sexual exploration.
If infidelity has happened in the past, it might complicate the concept of nonmonogamy in your relationship. Perhaps you’re holding onto unprocessed anger, pain, and fear about opening up your relationship, despite being willing to enter this new territory with your partner.
Even if introducing someone else into the mix isn’t your main fantasy, discussing kinks or other sexual desires with a partner can be nevertheless intimidating. As a result, you may be stifling your true feelings, which can manifest as numbness, tension, isolation, and conflict in your relationship.
A sex-positive, kink-friendly therapist well versed in polyamory can be the gateway to newfound clarity and mutual understanding between you and your partner(s). At People Not Problems, couples of every variety and sexual appetite are welcome to the counseling space.
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We’re All Fed Misleading Narratives About What Healthy Relationships Look Like
While the concepts of kink or nonmonogamy may be considered niche or unspoken in some circles, it’s estimated that close to half of the general population identify one of these as their top fantasies.
Unfortunately, our society does not promote creative and alternative sexual exploration, which causes folx to avoid having conversations with their partner(s) or considering how alternative sexual experiences might enhance their lives. We are all conditioned in some way, following specific narratives from childhood that shape our understanding of ourselves and our relationships, which often causes a narrow view of what a healthy partnership looks like.
Not to mention, most of us come from a culture that values ownership and possession. We may inadvertently see our partner(s) as “belonging to” us, which is where jealousy, mistrust, and controlling behaviors can originate. So, we invoke the rules. Instead of addressing pain points through open, vulnerable, ongoing conversation, we focus what we can control, ultimately getting wrapped up in the context of sex rather than the liberating prospects of autonomy, agency, and freedom.
We each have a right to live our unique, expansive lives—and there’s beauty in making space for our partner to do the same. Polyamory and kinkfriendly therapy is a chance for you to de-pathologize and re-author, inviting you and your partner(s) to reimagine your relationship.
Kink And Polyamory Friendly Therapy At People Not Problems
Counseling offers you the space you need to creatively collaborate with your significant other(s) on how your unique polyamorous or kinky relationship will look and function. Instead of abiding by the rules that society has dictated for you, therapy can guide you in establishing your own path as a couple.
My Approach
I am a queer poly and kink affirming therapist with a passion for helping folx reconsider the hurtful narratives and societal expectations that they have adopted. I challenge my clients to live more openly and honestly by rewriting their stories.
While kink and polyamory friendly therapy is available to individuals, I typically work with a system or unit, involving multiple partners in the counseling space. My approach is all about collaboration, so we will explore issues, identify solutions, and forge new paths together. And I can help you see how roadblocks in your relationship are never coming from an individual place but rather from the patterns you’ve brought into the relationship and created as a couple.
This relational way of working allows more unification and congruence of thoughts, feelings, and sensual experiences. As we learn to listen to our partner(s) with an ear of understanding—rather than an ear of judgment—we develop a new awareness of ourselves and each other.
In the process of opening your relationship to new possibilities, whether it be kink, swinging, or polyamory, you may open your minds and hearts to new narratives. And soon, there will be space for each person in the relationship to feel fully heard and understood in an authentic way. Through kink and poly affirmingtherapy at People Not Problems, you can untangle the barriers holding your relationship(s) back from achieving their fullest potential.
Still Unsure If Poly And Kink Friendly Couples Counseling Is Right For You?
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Opening up your relationship requires conversation and collaboration. If you are exploring polyamory or other forms of CNM in your relationship, it’s important to come together to weigh the pros and cons in a healthy, productive way. Too often, partners walk past one another rather than connecting vulnerably to collaborate around a new vision of the future together.
Approaching therapy this way might help your partner be more open to the idea of counseling when considering a polyamorous relationship. Oftentimes, the hardest part of therapy is showing up, but the reward of expansive connection may be worth the risk.
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If you are looking for specific advice or direction in your relationship, I may not be a good fit. My approach to therapy views you as the expert on your life and partnership, helping you identify the innate wisdom you need to thrive. My job is to facilitate heartfelt, healing conversations that can expand the possibilities of your relationship—not to tell you what to do with your life.
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That is a great question, and frankly, we won’t know the answer until we go through the process. However, there are some indicators to help understand what the process involves and how long it will take. For one, slow is fast; taking time to hear each other’s stories and allowing each part of the relationship to be illuminated are essential in building a foundation for growth.
That said, I am a systemic therapist, specially trained to find patterns in the relationship. My goal is to help you see the problems visiting your relationship and collaborate around new possibilities that nurture growth and connection.
Reimagine Your Future Together
As a narrative-oriented polyamory and kink friendly therapist, I can help you write new stories in therapy that will help you integrate swinging and other fantasies into your relationship in an authentic, affirming way. To find out if we’re a good fit, you can contact us or schedule a free consultation. I currently have openings for new clients, and appointments are typically available within the week.