LGBTQ Therapy
Feeling Stifled By Other Peoples’ Narratives Or Prescriptions About Who You Are?
Do you identify as LGBTQ?
Is there a disconnection between how you think, feel, and experience the world?
And do you wish you had an opportunity to join your partner(s) or family in therapy to further explore your identity?
The queer experience is a dynamic one. Alongside elements of identity, there’s often conflict between how we’re socialized and our identities that complicate our stories. Many of us struggle to feel like full, authentic versions of ourselves—especially in our relationships—which can lead to a lack of congruence between our self-perception and how we engage with the world around us.
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What Is Your Experience?
Maybe you struggle with connection in your relationships with others. Instead of exploring what’s below the disconnection, you’re quick to respond with defensiveness or blame. Physical sensations like a tight chest and nervous stomach signal unease, and you experience feeling “off” but are unable to identify the source of disconnection.
This naturally impacts your intimate partnerships, causing you to perhaps either anxiously pursue others or avoid vulnerable connection. Maybe you are drawn to people that don’t support your growth or disregard some connections you make as shallow and meaningless. At times lonely or uncomfortable in new situations, you might turn towards drugs or alcohol to avoid hard feelings more often than you’d like.
Perhaps you seek community yet struggle with knowing how exactly to identify or relate. And it might be especially helpful to explore aspects of your identity with others, including the partner(s) and family members who have been integral to shaping your whole self.
As an affirming, culturally aware therapist who affirms LGBTQ humans, I grasp how painful it is to live out someone else’s narrative of who you should be. In therapy, you can further explore and embrace your authentic identity, desires, and goals to live more congruently with yourself and others.
As Humans, We Have To Reconcile Our Authentic Stories With The Stories That Are Assigned To Us
All of us embark on the journey of growing into our “true” selves. For queer and trans folx, this process looks different and it makes sense that it takes longer as we work to find authentic paths free of “shoulds”. Most of us have been raised in a culture where heteronormativity is promoted and the stories we hear often reflect this. As we begin to consider expanding the stories we’ve heard into the ones that better reflect our true selves, we often weigh the pros and cons of authenticity not only for ourselves but for our relationships too.
Of course, these dominant narratives apply to concepts of “straightness” and “maleness,” but certain norms extend into the LGBTQ community as well. For instance, we might adopt preconceptions about how an “ideal” gay man looks and acts or develop the belief that there isn’t space in our identity to be both queer and married. A struggle can emerge between the constraining narratives we’ve heard and the freedom we sense around rewriting our lores towards authenticity and congruence.
Co-exploring your experience through therapy is a meaningful opportunity to reauthor the relationship you have with yourself, your loved ones, and your LGBTQ community as a whole. In practicing intimacy and vulnerability at the deepest, most personal level, you can achieve the congruence and connection that you have been missing.
LGBTQ Affirming Therapy At People Not Problems
I am a queer, kink- and poly-affirming therapist who views individual struggles through a systemic lens, meaning that the struggles we face oftentimes come about as a result of constraining stories we hear and then adopt – as defining of us. My journey to counseling began with trouble finding an intersectional therapist who grasped the many facets of my identity. When I co-explore with clients my non-pathologizing and lens of curiosity leans towards justice and expansiveness for all marginalized people including those in the LGBTQ and non-monogamous communities.
My narrative therapy practice is available to all, especially those in the LGBTQ community looking to access a more balanced and authentic narrative. Though my approach is particularly valuable for relationships and family systems—including LGBTQ partners/couples and families navigating the intersection of hope and authenticity—I am also available to work with individual clients in counseling.
What To Expect
Our sessions will be spent co-exploring the constraining narratives, assumptions, and expectations keeping you stuck. As we work to expand your relationship’s story, we invite more expansive possibilities around desires like power, autonomy, agency, and freedom.
Unless there’s a clinical need, I’m less inclined in making a diagnosis or characterizing your experience in terms of “mental health symptoms.” Instead, I seek to grasp your reality in terms of how it does or does not support the goals and values that you and your loved ones have. Narrative therapy facilitates a deeper connection with your experience and those of others, fostering more vulnerable conversations with those you trust.
As an LGBTQ-identifying therapist, I strive to create safety and trust to hear your narratives with a lens of possibility and expansiveness. Through this process, you can grow towards congruence between yourself and your overall experience of the world.
When we can let go of the constructed and prescriptive expectations that envelop us, we can reauthor our own stories. LGBTQ therapy at People Not Problems is designed for those who may feel constrained or marginalized in their identities to discover authenticity, agency, and connection.
Still Unsure If Counseling Is Right For You?
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If you’re concerned about the cost of therapy, I’d invite you to view counseling as an investment in yourself and the relationships you nurture. This investment is not limited to an hour a week; your relationship’s story can continue to expand between sessions, improving the connection you have with yourself and your loved ones. Also, I do offer select sliding-scale slots, so please do not let finances be a barrier to reaching out.
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Relational setbacks are never caused by just one part of a partnership or family unit. Bringing others into our meetings allows us to hear with a goal of understanding each other as we thicken the constrained narratives that no longer serve us. My opinion and research points to having a larger system in therapy is an effective way to create lasting change.
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Regardless of your intersectional identities, including non-monogamous, poly, or LGBTQ—fit is critical when it comes to finding a therapist!
As such, I like to ask potential clients: Do you trust that I can grasp what pains you and provide a safe, comfortable atmosphere in which you can explore? If you are able to feel safe, authentic, and heard in your suffering, we will likely be a good therapeutic match that can lead to positive change in your life and relationships.
Furthermore, I am pleased to offer a free, 30-minute consultation to help you determine whether or not you want to continue working together and refer you to other talk therapists if necessary. Contact me to find out more.
Your Story Belongs To You
If you identify as LGBTQ, poly, or otherwise marginalized in your identity, therapy can reflect on constrained narratives and reauthor your experience towards expansiveness. For more information, contact me to schedule a free consultation. I am currently taking new clients, and appointments are typically available within one week.