The Six — a quiet reflection for couples considering a 30-day intensive
where are the two of you, honestly?
the six
a 30-day relationship intensive — one couple at a time
This isn't a test, and there's nothing to pass. It's a quiet way to notice where the two of you are right now. Move each marker to where it honestly sits — left and right are just two true ends of the same feeling — and see what the picture stirs up.
drag, or tab to a marker and use arrow keys. nothing is being counted.
a spark
the desire to be together — a real wish to stay
mostly going through the motionsa real pull toward each other
Every map of a relationship begins with a quiet question: do you still want to find your way back to each other? Beneath the arguing and the silence, that wish is the engine the work runs on. We can build from even a small, honest spark — we can't build from its absence. So this isn't about how good things feel today, but whether the wanting is still there to be uncovered.
tended wounds
past hurts and trauma already partly healed
still raw, still bleedingtender, but cared for
Old wounds aren't disqualifying — every couple carries some. What matters is whether the deepest ones have begun to be tended, so they're scars you can touch rather than cuts still open. An intensive moves fast and close; on a wound that's wide open, that pace can overwhelm rather than heal. You don't need to arrive finished — just steady enough that the hurt isn't the only voice in the room.
a clear seat
no active addiction — alcohol especially
drinking or using is steeringfully here, nothing at the wheel
Deep work asks for all of you, fully present, in the same room as each other. When something else — alcohol especially — is quietly steering, it takes the seat this work needs, and the conversation ends up happening with it rather than between the two of you. This isn't a moral line, it's a practical one. The kindest order is to clear that seat first, with support; then this door opens wide.
shared weight
you both own the problem — not just one of you
it sits on one of uswe each hold an end of it
A quiet truth that changes everything: the problem is the problem — neither of you is. Trouble between two people rarely belongs to just one of them, and the story of "if only you would change" tends to keep couples exactly where they are. Readiness looks like both of you willing to tenderly accept some responsibility for how you've arrived here.
resourced
the $11k over 30 days is a stretch, not a crisis
this would break usa real stretch, and we can
This investment is not for everyone — and part of being right for it is the financial component not putting undue stress on your relationship or family. At its best, the investment feels like a stretch, the kind that signals to the relationship that you mean it, never a wound that strains your foundation. If the investment isn't right, that's information, not a judgement.
something tender, asking now
a charged, urgent issue — a betrayal, or a turning point
we could let it driftthis is asking for attention now
Intensives run on a particular fuel: something alive and asking for attention now — a betrayal, a drifting, a sense that the relationship is at a crossroads. That urgency isn't a flaw; it's the very thing that makes setting aside focused time worth it, instead of letting another quiet year pass. And if nothing feels on fire — if things are simply tired, or adrift — that's no barrier at all. Meaningful work doesn't require a crisis to begin.
Move each one to where it feels true. As you place them — what do you notice rising up?
There are no right answers here, only the ones that are honestly yours. If any of this is worth saying aloud, that's the whole point.
reach out when you're ready